Help ma boab, a canna believe it’s already Hogmanay,
a’m withoot a resolution, whit a’m a going tae dae?
Last year’s fitness revolution, that didna gae sae weel,
aye a tried oot the gym but ma knees are no ideal
Haud yer wheesht whilst a’m thinking, whit it’s gaun tae be,
mebbe thon wild swimming an skinny dipping in the sea?
Ma sister says it’s pure dead brilliant, maks her body glow within,
but a dinna fancy a jellyfish picking a fecht wi ma skin.
Coud a gie up the choccies, acause this week a’v stuffed ma face?
started wi a square or twa, then a fair picked up the pace.
A even thocht a hud tinnitus, the ear ringing makkit me frown,
but it wis lindt bunny bells in the pocket o ma dressing gown.
Nou whit aboot an airport course, tae help me fly in the sky,
It wid be grand tae see ma sons withoot thinking a’m gaun tae die.
A coud sign up fur a poetry class, even gae alang tae ane next week,
learn fae thae professionals and stap me writing aw this keech.
Ach ma heid’s nou fair nippin, whit’s this fash aw aboot?
Aw this resolution business, a’m chucking it richt oot.
A ken a’m faur fae perfect, a body with mair than ane flaw,
but sae are aw o youse oot there, but I think we’re aw dead braw.
Sae insteid let’s juist celebrate the year we’ve got oorsels throu,
An in these times o daftness, dinna tell me that’s no true!
Focus on oor humanity, be guid freends tae ane anither,
hark back tae thae cup o sugar days, be like a sister an a brither.
An if ye’ve got tae the end o this rhyme withoot some o yer cheek,
ma new year’s resolution is tae wish that aw yer lums may reek!
